Okay, where did I leave off....Oh yeah, my mom, the alcohol. Well, once I found this out things were obviously very different for me in the family. While I must have known for a while, I was in denial or something. Not quite sure what that was about...but your mind plays amazing tricks on you...it truly does...if you let it. My dad got orders to go to Hawaii. I didn't care to go. Many of my friends at school said that the locals hated white people and they had a day called "kill haole" day, translated "kill whitie day".. Not on my top list to go experience my senior year in high school. So, as Hawaii is expensive, my dad went ahead to find a house for us. We weren't going to be able to get on-base housing. So, in the meantime I followed my mother back up to Northern Minnesota where she was born, to live with my Grandfather. My Grandparents had a large house up in Minnesota, had, I think 9 bedrooms, beautiful home, just not worth anything because mining up there went bust decades ago. So, I started my senior year in Northern Minnesota. Thought I would hate it, and just like so many things I think I am going to hate, actually ended up liking it, alot. I met some great folks up there. A bit sheltered, but pretty nice people. I don't think you can't blame people for being sheltered, after all its not about them, its about living in the middle of nowhere. I remember going to Minneapolis with a friend from there and we were driving downtown and he said to me "I have never seen a black person before". Being a military brat this was a shock to me, but after I thought about it, it made sense. There are no black people in northern Minnesota. And if you don't go anywhere, you would know no different. To this day, he was one of the most genuine people I have met. I have to say, when I moved there I had a bias against small towns. I tend to be judgemental, so this isn't surprising. But, I came around to actually liking living in a town of 4,000. I knew everyone, and many were related to me. Since I lived in larger towns and always moved around I never had the chance to really get to know my relatives. So I think that was part of the reason that I liked it. I felt grounded for once in my life. At any rate, my father found housing on base in Hawaii and my mom moved there. I stayed back in Minnesota with my Grandfather. I think that was one of the best decisions I have made in my life. It wasn't about work or my career, but about spending time with my 84 year old Grandfather. I wanted to be with him. I wanted to experience my family. Something I had been robbed of. I got along great with Pop (that's what we called him). People at school felt sorry for me because I was living with my Grandfather, but they didn't realize that I chose that. I was happy as a clam (can a clam be happy?). I also met my first real girlfriend, Mary. She was great. She really loved me. That relationship would be off and on for a few years and it was a great experience for me. I couldn't have asked for a better first love. Losing my virginity to her, and her losing it to me was perfect. I think she loved me more than I loved her though. And I knew it. I wasn't as into her as she was into me. I didn't think that was fair and so I broke it off for good my senior year in college. It was hard, but she deserved so much more than what I could give her. I also think that I stayed in N. Minnesota because I wanted to separate from my family. I wanted to be alone. I wanted to know that I could make it on my own, without them. I needed to be independent. With my new found realization about my family, I knew that I could only count on myself to take care of me...and in fact, that was what I was doing all along, and never realized it. Being in Northern Minnesota with my Grandfather was proof to me that I could make the right decisions about my life, with or without my family and that I would be okay. This blogging experience is strange, I get to put down my rants, raves, and thoughts about anything. It is kind of fun. Some of it funny, some of it serious and sad, but that is life. Nothing is one way or the other.... Later...
Well, it's been a bit since I wrote. So, I thought I would. I don't really pay that much attention to the news--it depresses me and I feel it is sensationalistic. It purposely focuses on all of the bad in humanity and seldom, especially now-a-days focuses on what is good in humanity. I guess it is all about ratings. I have been so out of the loop that even my wife knew something that I didn't. I didn't know that there was a recall on all the spinach in the U.S. I was at Wal-Mart (yes, that is another discussion altogether) and I was buying food. I was going to buy one of those bags of spinach. I don't know what brought me to want that, I usually buy it fresh, but anyway...I went up the counter and they said I couldn't buy it. I kept thinking....what am I going to snort this shit or what. It's spinach, let me buy it! Then my wife said, you didn't hear about the spinach recall? And I said "what spinach recall". Then she told me....T...
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