Random Musings

So, my house flooded a couple weeks ago with the heavy storms that came through the area over a 24 hour period. It was some intense storms. As a result my tenants home flooded. They were nice, but I could tell they were very upset. I got the sump pump fixed. I also paid to have all the drains in the house fixed to make sure that they are properly draining. With all that done, and thousands spent, there is still no guarantee that the house will not flood again. It is so upsetting. I am feeling so overwhelmed with everything and am very, very stressed out. Work has been very busy and stressful as well. I am happy to have my job, and I love it, but I have just been under the gun lately. I also had to do some consulting and that came on at the same time as all of this. It has been one thing after another. And then I had a health scare that was pretty serious. It is clearing up thank god, but it really stressed me out. I did go to a friends house last night for movie night and ...

Boy lots has happened since I wrote in this blog.... I have divorced my wife, I am still in the same job though. I came out to my family and friends. I was in a three and a half year relationship with a guy half my age. That ended. I am happier now than ever, but I still have ups and downs. I am still trying to figure myself out, but I am at a much better place in my life now. I have regrets, but I understand why I had to go through the things I did to get where I am. I get why I never came out to anyone. When I grew up it was not a great idea. It was scary. I was literally beaten up, so I buried that deep within me. The divorce was really tough, it was a nasty divorce. I should have expected it. I am glad that is over and that she moved on. I hope she is happy. In the end, she really was the one that forced the issue. Of course she should, and although it was really bitter and full of anger, it helped me realize I had to live my life authentically, or I would go on to hurt a...

Wow, has it been a long time since I wrote on this blog. I will write more often. Well, much has happened since the last time I wrote. Since that was years ago. Been very busy with life, etc... Osama Bin Laden was killed this past week. I am not happy that anyone ever is killed. I am a pacifist, so it goes against my beliefs. When Sept. 11th happened I have to say I wasn't surprised. I wondered if we would be attacked like that at some point. As a country we have exploited poorer, less developed countries for soo long, it was just a matter of time. I believe if it wasn't Bin Laden it would have been someone else eventually. I am not saying I believe what he did is right, I don't. What he did was cowardly and inexcusable, but not surprising. I was actually amazed by the surprise of people by the whole incident. The United States has learned alot from that experience. 1) We are not isolated in this world; 2) There are consequences for exploiting others; 3) The wo...

I voted for Obama and am truly happy he won. I think we need a different party in office right now and for the foreseeable future. That said, I don't buy that the two parties, republicans or democrats, are really all that different when you strip them down to their human elements. Both parties want to have power...and human beings should ALWAYS be weary of power thirsty people or groups, regardless of their good intentions. Someone always loses out in the deal. This country has been in for this struggle for some time now. My feeling is that Americans, myself included, have been very greedy at the expense of others for a long time. Don't get me wrong, America does a lot of wonderful things for other countries and for causes that advance human rights and dignity, but with strings attached. I believe it is our countries responsibility as a member of the human race, after all we have more money than any other country on the planet. We mustn't forget the old adage 'you...

Well, it looks like the layoff is official and I am part of it. I am having a hard time with this. I worked soo hard for this job and its projects and now I'm going to be gone. I created the projects, collected the data, analyzed the data, wrote up the results. Now, someone else is going to be able to get all of the data and continue the project that I created. Very upsetting and unjust. This guy is bumping into my position within the office. The office has become very toxic as a result. Even though I know it is not my fault and that state budget deficits and cuts have caused this, I have a hard time not taking it personally. I know that I am on the bottom of th totem pole because I was one of the last hires, so I was vulnerable to being cut, but it still hurts real bad. I know this isn't the end of the world, and I will find another job, it will just take some time. I want to go on the academic job market this year. I want that to be my next move..teach and do resear...