Well, it looks like the layoff is official and I am part of it. I am having a hard time with this. I worked soo hard for this job and its projects and now I'm going to be gone. I created the projects, collected the data, analyzed the data, wrote up the results. Now, someone else is going to be able to get all of the data and continue the project that I created. Very upsetting and unjust. This guy is bumping into my position within the office. The office has become very toxic as a result. Even though I know it is not my fault and that state budget deficits and cuts have caused this, I have a hard time not taking it personally. I know that I am on the bottom of th totem pole because I was one of the last hires, so I was vulnerable to being cut, but it still hurts real bad. I know this isn't the end of the world, and I will find another job, it will just take some time. I want to go on the academic job market this year. I want that to be my next move..teach and do research that I can completely call mine and not some project for a grant that will stay if I leave. I want to own my data completely. I am also going to start writing and analyzing data from my post-doc. That is way overdue and that can be published without a problem. I know because we got a the first phase of it published a year and a half ago. I do think I am in a position of strength--I have a Ph.D., I have publications, I have some teaching experience, I have clinical experience, and I have research/program evluation experience, I am a leader. So, if I market my strengths, I think a job will be coming in short order. I just have to exude the confidence that is in my CV. I have been hit a blow, but I am not knocked out. I now have my power back, and it will get better. I know it.
Well, it's been a bit since I wrote. So, I thought I would. I don't really pay that much attention to the news--it depresses me and I feel it is sensationalistic. It purposely focuses on all of the bad in humanity and seldom, especially now-a-days focuses on what is good in humanity. I guess it is all about ratings. I have been so out of the loop that even my wife knew something that I didn't. I didn't know that there was a recall on all the spinach in the U.S. I was at Wal-Mart (yes, that is another discussion altogether) and I was buying food. I was going to buy one of those bags of spinach. I don't know what brought me to want that, I usually buy it fresh, but anyway...I went up the counter and they said I couldn't buy it. I kept thinking....what am I going to snort this shit or what. It's spinach, let me buy it! Then my wife said, you didn't hear about the spinach recall? And I said "what spinach recall". Then she told me....T...
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